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August 23, 2024
After a very humid summer here in New England, it has been a wonderful relief to feel some hints of cooler air, and even an inkling of color on the edges of some leaves. As the summer begins to wane and our attention starts to shift to the new beginnings of autumn, including the Jewish new year, a little-known (outside of Israel) minor Jewish holiday reminds us to rejoice in the possibilities of love and companionship. Tu B’Av (the 15th of the Hebrew month of Av) fell on Monday, but as a community we will be marking this special day this evening, when following services we will delight in hearing community members’ love stories and enjoy themed treats at our oneg. There is nothing better than sharing our stories to build and strengthen our bonds as a community! We chose to celebrate Tu B’Av this Shabbat also because Cantor Maayan Harel will be married to Bradley Silverman this Sunday (and after that, she will be known as Cantor Maayan Silverman!). We send our love and sincerest Mazal Tov to Cantor Maayan and to Bradley on this special Shabbat before their wedding.
Our tradition reminds us in so many ways that joy and sorrow are interconnected. To rejoice is not to forget or to repress sorrow, and to feel sorrow is not to forget joy. As the modern Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai wrote: “A person needs to hate and to love at the same moment, with the same eyes to cry, and the same eyes to laugh with the same hands to throw stones, and with the same hands to gather them…” And so, six days after a profoundly sorrowful day in our calendar, Tisha B’Av, our sages instituted the celebration of Tu B’Av and linked six happy events with this date, making it suited for rejoicing and matchmaking. Perhaps more surprising than discovering that ancient Israel had its own version of “Valentine’s Day,” which is still observed in contemporary Israel as a day of romance, is that the rabbis of the Talmud linked the joy of Tu B’Av with the joy of….wait for it…Yom Kippur! Our sages thought of Yom Kippur as a very joyous day.
In ancient times, women would wear festive white clothing and go out to the vineyards and dance. On Yom Kippur, we also have a custom of wearing white. In the Talmud we read: (Mishnah Taanit 4:8) Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no days as joyous for the Jewish people as the fifteenth of Av and as Yom Kippur, as on them the daughters of Jerusalem would go out in white clothes, which each woman borrowed from another. Why were they borrowed? They did this so as not to embarrass one who did not have her own white garments. In another Mishnah, we learn: (Taanit 30b:8-13) Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no days as happy for the Jewish people as the fifteenth of Av and as Yom Kippur. The Gemara asks: Granted, Yom Kippur is a day of joy because it has the elements of pardon and forgiveness, and moreover, it is the day on which the last pair of tablets were given. However, what is the special joy of the fifteenth of Av? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: This was the day on which the members of different tribes were permitted to enter one another’s tribe, by intermarriage.
Another connection between Tu b’Av and Yom Kippur is that these days are the bookends of the grape harvest in the land of Israel. To read more about Tu B’Av and its conections to the High Holy Days, see this recent piece from The Jerusalem Post. Awareness of where we are situated in the Jewish calendar can be a grounding, centering practice especially when our present moment can feel dizzying. Each year gives us a foothold in a cycle of experience and emotion, encompassing the vast emotional landscape of which our hearts are capable.
So, as we mark Tu B’Av in community, and begin our journey toward Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, may our hearts be open to love, to possibility, to renewal, and to hope. Our hearts swell and our hearts break, sometimes at the same time. I felt this especially when dropping off my oldest son for his first year of college last weekend. May we, rooted in community and a tradition so wise and honest about the human heart, be open to experiencing and holding all of it, and to holding one another along the journey.
Rabbi Audrey Marcus Berkman
